Tuesday, December 29, 2009


I swear, all I blog about is my pregnancy now. For that I apologize, the fact is, i just don't have anything else really going on, and it kind of consumes your life. There are those women out there who really just loooove being pregnant. I am NOT one of them. Don't get me wrong, it's miraculous, and amazing when he moves around, I love knowing there's a baby in there. But, being pregnant tears your body apart, and I just dont understand how you could love that part. I am used to being very independent, and now i cant do a lot of things. I cant bend over normally anymore, cant lift heavy things, cant do more than a few chores without needing a nap...cant sneeze without having to pee, cant stand up for more than 2 hours without my feet swelling up, etc etc. I feel like the living dead half of the time, and i still work almost 30 hours a week. And, to top it all off, i still dont look as pregnant as i should. For those of you out there who have not been pregnant, this is NOT a blessing, despite what everyone seems to think. When you dont look it, people still expect you to be able to do things, that frankly, your body wont let you anymore. Its probably 5x worse not to look it because i feel like because of that my body gets beat to death even more to compensate. I am now 30 wks pregnant, and i still have customers tell me i look more like 12-16 wks. I guess I am very frustrated with my lack of efficency, and effort, i feel like a total bum. My house is always messy, i cant ever get the laundry done, the dishes make me sick to do, and i just cant do it all and work anymore, and its making me crazy. I should probably just get used to it, considering once the baby gets here, its still gonna be like this. What can I say? Once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist.