Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Sometimes i wish my blog was anonymous. And none of you knew who i was...I'd share so much more that way. My blog is very censored i think. So much more i would say if i was anonymous. So much i want to say because i need feedback, opinions. But since you know i am Rachel-Mother, wife...etc...I cant. I wont. I reuse to drag those I love into this downward spiral that i don't know what to do with. And no. I wont give more details on here. Probably not ever. Just know that....i don't know. I'll survive. I'll figure it out. Ambiguity drives me crazy, for that i apologize. But ambiguous i remain. I just need to scream at someone, move to china where no one knows who i am or what my life has become and vent to some random person who wouldn't judge anything i had to say. And yes, i know you all love me and say you wouldn't judge...but deep somewhere in there...you would. i absolutely know you would cause its my life, and I'm judging it like an outsider sometimes.