Thursday, September 9, 2010

The World...

Should simply stop when someone like her passes from this earth. It should stand still in sorrow, and confusion. But it didnt stop despite the feeling that everything was in slow motion. I'm still not 100% sure I believe she's gone. She was my Aunt, and I was one of her daughters in heart. I cant imagine what her children are going through, what her husband is going through. Everyone keeps saying "Heavenly Father needed her more elsewhere" and I cant help but scream in my head "No youre wrong! We need her here more. She has children.She is incredibly kind, loving,and very special. There is no where but here that she could be needed more." And nothing makes sense. I keep hearing her voice, seeing her face and just expecting her to walk through the door. It shouldn't be real. She shouldn't be gone. She was only 46. And she simply died without warning. I bet she was confused as much as we were, I doubt she knew.And there are so many things that she would find funny about this situation, but she isnt here to laugh about, so they lose the humor among the tears.I keep thinking, I never got her to teach me the lullaby she sang to Kaleb. He will not remember her. She will not be here for so many of her childrens life events. Its heartbreaking. I cant help but be a little bitter. Cant help but play the "what if..." game. Its like the gears in my brain are not catching, wont accept that she's gone. Click Click Click.Gone Gone Gone. Why Why Why. This world will never be the same missing Roberta Lyn Oliver Perkins. Never.


  1. I am so sorry for your loss! I've never met your aunt Roberta, but I feel like crying after I read this post! From what I've heard from you and PJ she was a great aunt.

  2. I think we are all as puzzled as you are. It makes you look at who you are and those around you, doesn't it? Maybe take life a little less for granted and really cherish your family, friends, and memories.